When Presence Became Performance: A Lesson From the Dojo About Pressure in Golf

The other day on the golf course I got a lesson in Presence and humility.

I was playing at RainDance National with my neighbor and another member I’ve played with several times.

For most of the round, I was playing pretty solid golf.

Not perfect.

There were a couple of doubles. I could feel myself flipping through impact from time to time. My bunker game was giving me trouble.

But overall, I was playing golf.

Then something changed.

When the Pro Showed Up

On the 16th hole, the head golf professional pulled up and joined us midway through the hole.

Almost immediately, I felt something shift in my body.

Nothing had actually changed.

Same golf course.

Same swing.

Same golfer.

But suddenly I felt like I was being watched.

I went from Presence to performance.

And I knew it was happening.

That’s what made the experience so interesting.

I could feel the pressure rising. I tried talking myself through it. I tried settling down.

But I was struggling.

Being Seen

My bunker game had already been off that day. I kept catching the ball thin and sending shots over greens.

Then, with the pro there, I found myself in another bunker.

I hit another one thin.

Over the green.

There was embarrassment.

Frustration.

And that familiar desire to show someone that I’m better than what they just witnessed.

That’s a difficult place to play golf from.

But looking back, the bunker shot wasn’t really the lesson.

Being seen was.

It’s relatively easy for me to talk about Presence when I’m comfortable.

It’s different when someone arrives whose opinion suddenly seems to matter.

My body showed me that during that round.

The Practice Continues

Part of me wishes I had stayed completely centered.

Part of me wishes I had hit the beautiful bunker shot, walked onto the green, and demonstrated everything I’ve been practicing.

That’s not what happened.

Instead, golf showed me another place where I’m still attached.

Another place where performance can replace Presence.

Another place where I get to practice.

I don’t need to turn those final holes into evidence that something is wrong with my golf.

And I don’t need to pretend they didn’t hurt.

They did.

But maybe that’s why this game continues to be such a powerful dojo for me.

It keeps showing me where I am.

Not where I think I am.

Not where I wish I was.

Where I am.

And on this day, that was enough.

Reflection

What changes inside of you when you suddenly feel like someone important is watching?